I wonder. If Iwere to just slowly back out of Mark's life right now, if he would notice at all.
I mean he can't be in a serious relationship w/ 5 different girls!
If I just back off, it might help both of us.
And ALOT of my guy friends will be happy that I finally did what they have been telling me all year.
And a ton of my chick friends who say he treats me like s%@#.
And my family, who wanted us seperated for at least 9 months.
I want him to be happy.
...
..and I'm not sure if I've been giving him that.....
If he's happy the way things are right now (which weather he notices or not, has "him niglecting my heart" all over it) then I just need to remove myself to help reduce the drama that always seems to suround him.
He is never satisfied, not even with my best. He always seems to demand more.
I miss when things were good between us, and nothing could make me question his love for me.
But now I do.
I question everything about him, and I am too exasted to look for the answers. I am always and have always been here for him but this is too much drama. If he still wants me the way I knew he did than he will start changing himself for the better; into who he really is; into the person I have seen in him. Why does he have this need for drama? Why does he pull himself away from all of the happiness? All of the good that comes his way? He has said that it is because he knows it will eventually go away. BUT WHY DOESN'T HE STAY TO ENJOY IT FOR HOWEVER LONG IT LASTS?
...
......
.."I've learned the hard way that they all say things you wanna' hear" And Mark has got a lock on words. I belived him. At least half the things he said I believed with my whole heart. And so soon he smashes it all in my face.
...
..I can't be treated the way he has been treating me. After all we have been through together, I can't, I will not be treated like this. When he is ready to prove that he diserves even our friendship I will be waiting, but until then, I must move on.